This time last week, I was sitting in a van, probably singing, most definitely eating some kind of snack, and travelling through the country lanes of Somerset.
Our road trip, we’ve decided, is the first of many.
It was whilst we were driving around at the end of the week, that we had a reflection over the whole holiday and as we were talking, I realized something.
My husband, Stephen, has many wonderful traits, some awful, but mostly wonderful and one of them is talking.
He likes to chatter. He absolutely loves nothing more than a good natter and even better if they’re a stranger.
I, on the other hand, do not like to approach strangers and make them into friends.
I find it hard work.
I don’t know what to say and when faced with a room full of people I don’t know, I’m more the type that keeps quiet and only speaks when I’m spoken to.
Our daughter takes after Stephen in this regard.
She adores meeting new people, and on this holiday, where we were in a different place every day, their love of chatting to strangers was more apparent than ever.
The first night we stayed in an old inn just outside of Bath.
It was full of history and the dining room was a great place, old tapestries on the wall, big paintings and suits of armor.
You get the idea, and as we got to our table, Stephen began talking to the German couple at the side of us.
By the end of his conversation, as well as knowing all about their holiday, we knew not to order the cheese board and the bus times we needed to get into Bath the following day.
On another night, my daughter got talking to the owner of the hotel we were stopping in and ended up helping out with cleaning tables and earned herself a wage!
Don’t worry, it wasn’t child labor, she had the best night, and the payment was totally unexpected.
Between them, they spoke to everyone and as a result, it enriched our holiday.
From their conversations with strangers, we knew where to find the wild ponies on Exmoor, what pubs and restaurants in the area were good and which to avoid, we heard a choir singing sea shanties, found a secret beach just outside of Appledoor and so much more.
I realized that by not talking to people I was missing out, and it’s the same with social media. I think it’s sometimes easy to forget that these platforms are meant to be social.
So let me ask you, when was the last time you sent a DM to someone you’ve never spoken to before, after seeing a post that resonated with you?
When was the last time you replied to a story?
When was the last time you had a real conversation in the comments?
I’ve noticed that when I’m scrolling, I’m doing just that - scrolling. I’m not taking the time to interact as much as I used to, to comment, like, share or send a quick message to a stranger, and I’m going to change that.
I’m going to DM more, reply more, engage more.
Why don’t you try it this week. See what happens.
You never know where these connections can lead to.
Have a lovely weekend,
Zoe x
P.S If you didn’t get my content calendar, grab it quick before it goes into archives and I’ve got something really exciting to share with you next week about a collaboration I’m doing with Lisa Johnson. Make sure you’re subscribed (free or paid) so you get the email as it won’t be on Substack!
I loved this, Zoe. Love that you noticed all the ways that the random chats enhanced your holiday. I would be more like you in the real world, but actually find it much easier to launch into conversations with people I don't know on social media. I suppose from the content you're moved to chat about you know you have at least got that nugget of shared interest. And it definitely demonstrates the value of the 'network' part of SM, finding the like-minded, interesting people I wouldn't come across day to day and building new connections. Still don't think I'll become a 'chatter' in real-life though!
Great observation about the value of connection and random chats. Odd to see it in my inbox this morning as I had planned to write about exactly this topic! Last night I randomly stumbled into a meeting and met the author of a book about the value of talking to more people - why it’s so valuable and how to do it (I don’t have the book beside me so I’ll share the info later - hopefully I’ll remember to come back here and post another comment). Even though I’m comfortable on a stage presenting or performing, I don’t like talking to strangers, initiating conversations, chatting... My husband and his daughter are like yours - eager to speak with anyone who will hold still long enough to have a conversation. If they initiate I will join in but my impulse when I’m on my own is to be quiet and observe. I know I miss out on a lot because of this strategy... Perhaps your post and the random encounter last night are nudges from the universe to get out there and be more friendly!